Priapulid worms caused an entire ecosystem to collapse 540 million years ago - just imagine the devastation and confusion when you wear these priapulid paisley pants out in public. "What is that?" people will ask, "what the hell does BIOTURBATED mean?"
• 70% polyester, 27% cotton, 3% elastane, 30% Ottoia, 30% Anningvermis, 30% Corynetis
• Soft cotton-feel fabric face, brushed fleece fabric inside, genuinely the coziest pants of all time
• Elastic waistband with a white drawstring
• Products made at factories in the US, Canada, Mexico, Latvia, Spain, Australia or Japan, whichever is closest to the destination
• Factories collaborate with Geocycle and Martex to recycle fabric waste
• Direct-To-Garment print style with OEKO-TEX certified eco-friendly vegan ink
• Oh yeah and it's got POCKETS - and they fit a whole samsung note phone/the beer can of your choice, they are roooooomy
Size guide
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | |
| Waist (inches) | 25 ¼ | 26 ¾ | 28 ⅜ | 31 ½ | 34 ⅝ | 37 ¾ | 41 |
| Hips (inches) | 35 ⅜ | 37 | 38 ⅝ | 41 ¾ | 44 ⅞ | 48 | 51 ⅛ |